My Great Fathers Day
Woke up at 5:30 AM. My second son was wide awake by then. Coffee. The Snowman video and some mini pancakes. Baby back pack on, walking sticks, and a hike in the forest. Come back, first son up, shower, cut beard, self trim hair. wife's made eggs, bacon, fresh fruit and whipping cream. first son is off to listen to an audio book while second son naps on wife and we talk. son wakes and we herd everyone into the car and head into town for car free day (oh the irony). We split up at the arcade. Son and I play AC/DC pinball, Galaga and Super Off Road. Meet back up with other half for Gelato. Stop and watch Darth Fiddler for a minute. Drop $2 and get picture taken. Get three Vanilla bean gelatos on Government St so they were expensive. (this is relevant later). As we are sitting in the sun enjoying the relative peace since most people are packing Douglas St on car free day. Then we hear the F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU lumbering down the street. As they get nearer and louder they pounce on an older lady yelling in their face F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU! Then they are coming in on us. I draw a line with my hands to indicate the boundary. They pass by yelling F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU! at a few more people beside us. At this point I'm coming around the front of the bench. Still eating my gelato although by now the bottom has split in two. Someone stands up to them and then walks away in our direction. F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU! starts heading straight for us. I again draw the line. They get a little too close so I put my arm across without touching them and interrupt their F*KING B*CH with a "stay away from my family". Their brain stutters for a moment. Then they start up again F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU! Where I then yell "STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!" Their companion is half holding them back and I am just standing there staring at them as they yell at me F*KING B*CH. I'll F*KING KILL YOU! They do a kind of strange zombie slow motion attack and feign to hit me. Then my son begins to cry so I go to him. They are continuing on as their companion leads them away but now I'm a little enraged. They have made my son cry and my Gelato is melting all down my hand! So I start yelling at them "THANKS A LOT". A wise and large man gave some good advice and suggested I leave it and we just go. I know good advice when I hear it so we left and saw him helping out "the situation". We all got over it and had a nice drive home and barbecued dinner, watched some Dave Chappelle, argued on the internet. All in all, A great Fathers's Day, very memorable. Thanks Family!