11779 replies to this topic

[Rob Randall]

well that goes along with the obvious observation that males are risk-takers much more so than women.  in many behaviours.

that's why to this day it's expected the man will propose to the woman, to initiate a heterosexual marriage process.

similarly, men will, and to much extent are expected to, "make the first move" when initiating any type of sexual relations.

 

 

 

I would agree there is risk involved when sticking your tongue down the throat of a 14 year-old girl in front of her parents. It paid off for him, though. Laughs all around.

Edited by Rob Randall, 03 April 2021 - 06:42 AM.

[Victoria Watcher]

I would agree there is risk involved when sticking your tongue down the throat of a 14 year-old girl in front of her parents. It paid off for him, though. Laughs all around.

 

well i did not go down the road of how old she was and how old the family friends were.  nor did you provide those details.  i took a wider - and sound - observation though.

Edited by Victoria Watcher, 03 April 2021 - 06:47 AM.

[Mike K.]

There’s a woman discussing what her teenaged son is going through right now, as per comments online in relation to the accusations. She says she feels terrible that she thought her son brought on the sexual assault he experienced at the hands of an older woman, but the sexual assault centre has helped her understand that there are many young men who are sexually assaulted but have a difficult time confronting their experience given the way society portrays sexual norms of men. Not confronting sexual assault at an earlier stage in life can lead to future abuse at the hands of the victim himself, this mother has learned.

[JimV]

Not to minimize the issue, but there are a lot of young men for whom “assault” by a older woman would be a dream come true.

[Mike K.]

But that is minimizing the issue. Rape isn’t a Make a Wish Foundation joke, and it doesn’t help when some men laugh it off as a dream come true if another man is raped.

[JimV]

I don’t think it’s minimizing anything, just acknowledging that there are differences between males and females (despite the best efforts of our culture to pretend otherwise.)  I suppose there are teen boys who would be appalled by the advances of an older woman.  I just never knew one.  Quite the contrary in fact.

[rjag]

It really is astounding that Helps said that rape culture is a western concept...I wonder what the Yazidi women would say about that, or the Uyghur women or the women of India...if anything rape culture is endemic in human society but more so where there are less freedoms and more totalitarian regimes.

 

Rape used as a political tool: Report - NewsDay Zimbabwe

 

Women systematically raped and tortured in Uighur ‘re-education’ camps, says report | The Independent

 

Sold, whipped and raped: A Yazidi woman remembers ISIL captivity | Child Rights News | Al Jazeera

 

India gang rape: Balrampur woman dies from alleged attack as protests spread - CNN

 

 

But that wouldnt fit Helps narrative would it?

 

My comments are in no way meant to take away or minimise the trauma experienced by any person who is a victim of a sexual assault, our society has much work to do to identify and stop this. My comments are in response to Ms Helps and her acolytes who are not doing anyone any favours with their approach

Edited by rjag, 03 April 2021 - 10:56 AM.

[Awaiting Juno]

The inability to have a conversation is going to be the biggest barrier to moving forward. When a person is attacked, rather than questioned as to why they hold the views they hold, any validity or merit of that point of view is dismissed and the world becomes black and white. Sexual assault is wrong, full stop. False accusations are wrong, full stop. There are many places where indeed it is a rape culture, and even here in Victoria, when the mayor herself, failed to speak up with respect to Elsner but rather sought to cover up and defend, there are elements of rape culture. 

 

Why do women turn to social media to get access to justice? That would be a question worth exploring. It's likely because the avenue of the formal justice system would fail to meet their needs. It's drawn out. It forces them to relive their trauma, again and again. It often does not yield a satisfying outcome and may lead to wrongful exoneration. Many just want to be heard and seen - many want to prevent what happened to them from happening to anyone else. Social media in that regard can be a more effective tool - although it fails to ensure that there isn't wrongful conviction. Some victims might not be aware of the full extent of the options available to them - while criminal conviction can be difficult, seeking damages via a civil suit might be an option for many.  

[Stephen Andrew]

The inability to have a conversation is going to be the biggest barrier to moving forward. When a person is attacked, rather than questioned as to why they hold the views they hold, any validity or merit of that point of view is dismissed and the world becomes black and white. Sexual assault is wrong, full stop. False accusations are wrong, full stop. There are many places where indeed it is a rape culture, and even here in Victoria, when the mayor herself, failed to speak up with respect to Elsner but rather sought to cover up and defend, there are elements of rape culture.

Why do women turn to social media to get access to justice? That would be a question worth exploring. It's likely because the avenue of the formal justice system would fail to meet their needs. It's drawn out. It forces them to relive their trauma, again and again. It often does not yield a satisfying outcome and may lead to wrongful exoneration. Many just want to be heard and seen - many want to prevent what happened to them from happening to anyone else. Social media in that regard can be a more effective tool - although it fails to ensure that there isn't wrongful conviction. Some victims might not be aware of the full extent of the options available to them - while criminal conviction can be difficult, seeking damages via a civil suit might be an option for many.

I agree. Questions are far better.

But, as I discovered, this issue is not just about women as victims.

Since this issue arose, several people reached out to me and shared there stories. The many incidents came from women and men. All had similar themes - not being heard and stopped sharing. This behaviour occurred from within their own support network.

One man - someone who I know well and is a business leader - generously shared his story of being sexually assaulted twice. When he shared his story he was greeted with jeers and laughter asking “if he enjoyed it”.

In my case it affected me for years. Trust vanished. The nurse who assisted me the following morning was so judgemental and basically told me not to put myself in a bad position again. At no time did she offer to call a social worker or police. I’m sure in today’s world another avenue would have been explored.

Several women described in graphic detail their sexual assault. One person tells of the behaviours she experienced from fellow workers at a restaurant. I cringed. Here is someone who repeatedly serves me in a restaurant and had I known what was happening “behind the scenes” I would have flipped and intervened.

This experience has taught me to be more aware, more informed and look for solutions.

I truly believe there are significant gaps in the investigation and prosecution of rape allegations. How do “we” fix it. We can leave it to others to help or we can get our hands dirty and search for solutions.

[rmpeers]

I agree. Questions are far better.

But, as I discovered, this issue is not just about women as victims.

Since this issue arose, several people reached out to me and shared there stories. The many incidents came from women and men. All had similar themes - not being heard and stopped sharing. This behaviour occurred from within their own support network.

One man - someone who I know well and is a business leader - generously shared his story of being sexually assaulted twice. When he shared his story he was greeted with jeers and laughter asking “if he enjoyed it”.

In my case it affected me for years. Trust vanished. The nurse who assisted me the following morning was so judgemental and basically told me not to put myself in a bad position again. At no time did she offer to call a social worker or police. I’m sure in today’s world another avenue would have been explored.

Several women described in graphic detail their sexual assault. One person tells of the behaviours she experienced from fellow workers at a restaurant. I cringed. Here is someone who repeatedly serves me in a restaurant and had I known what was happening “behind the scenes” I would have flipped and intervened.

This experience has taught me to be more aware, more informed and look for solutions.

I truly believe there are significant gaps in the investigation and prosecution of rape allegations. How do “we” fix it. We can leave it to others to help or we can get our hands dirty and search for solutions.

Thoughtful comments and greatly appreciated. A couple of your colleagues have made low attempts to twist this whole issue to criticize you with a false narrative, which honestly sickens me, because it diminishes the issue.

[rjag]

Common Vision, Common Action – Creating a Regional Agenda for Social and Ecological Justice – CUPE Local 2081

 

Look at the linkage of who's at the table and look at who's causing the disruption and chaos in this City.

 

 

The Common Vision, Common Action Planning Committee
CommonVision2017@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook
250-634-4731 (c/o Elise Cote)

Keith Cherry
Laurel Collins
Elise Cote
Nathan Grills
Christine Grimes
Trevor Hancock
Jessie Hemphill
Ben Isitt
Olga Liberchuk
Jeremy Loveday
David Monk
Sarah Potts
Juan Ramirez
Sonia Théroux

 

SPONSORING ORGANIZATIONS

• Better Transit Alliance
• Canadian Peace Initiative – Victoria Chapter Cities for Everyone
• City of Victoria Youth Council
• Columbia Institute
• Community Action Bus
• Council of Canadians – Victoria Chapter
• Creatively United For The Planet
• CUPE Local 4163 – UVic Educational Employees Fair Vote Canada – BC Steering Committee
• Farmland Protection Coalition
• Generation Squeeze
• If Not Now – Victoria
• Indigenous Solidarity Working Group
• One Planet Region
• Peers Victoria Resources Society
• Retail Action Network
• SocialCoast Social Environmental Alliance
• Surfrider Vancouver Island
• This Is Leadership
• University of Victoria Social Justice Studies Program
• Vancouver Island Peace and Disarmament Network
• Victoria Immigrant and Refugee Centre Society
• Victoria International Jewish Film Festival
• Victoria Transport Policy Institute
• Victoria Voice
• Youth for a Sustainable Future

 

 

I am surprised the Cycling coalition arent listed but I can bet they were well represented by the usual crew

[JimV]

We need a movement called the Clear Vision.  Perhaps one of the sponsoring organizations could be the Better Traffic Alliance.

[rmpeers]

Common Vision, Common Action – Creating a Regional Agenda for Social and Ecological Justice – CUPE Local 2081

Look at the linkage of who's at the table and look at who's causing the disruption and chaos in this City.



I am surprised the Cycling coalition arent listed but I can bet they were well represented by the usual crew

Based on that blog post, I got the sense these various organizations' primary purpose wasn't so much to do good as to get jobs, contracts, etc for friends and such. Am I reading it right?

And also to use these fronts as in the above Times Colonist piece, to dismiss any opposing voices. Which may work with some people although it's such a blatant, disingenuous lie, I doubt it will fool many.

[mbjj]

Trevor Hancock has a piece in today's Islander praising Victoria City Council, lol. Now I see why. 

[Sparky]

“ The registration fee is $30 per person, with no one turned away. We suggest you register as soon as possible, since space is limited.”

???

[Mike K.]

Why is Focus not investigating this with the tenacity of the bridge?

[rmpeers]

Why is Focus not investigating this with the tenacity of the bridge?

Also great reporting on Elsner. Frustrating that they don't do more. Maybe people scared because too many vocal and well-connected people.

[rjag]

Why is Focus not investigating this with the tenacity of the bridge?

Isn’t he a TV fanboy?

[On the Level]

 

Are local politicians sufficiently skilled in managing our finances, given their job will be much more difficult for the foreseeable future? Does additional skill training need to be offered?

 

Granted, budgets are challenging at the best of times: By Statistics Canada standards, both Victoria and Saanich would be considered large corporations. Budget documents sometimes exceed 1,000 pages, as do agendas too complex for most mortals.

 

The financial disclosures reveal that four of the nine-member Victoria council have no assets, liabilities, real property, or corporate assets, according to their 2021 filings. Two of the councillors have only liabilities. Yet, they manage a consolidated budget of $318 million in 2021 and employ about 900.

 

Four of the nine-member Saanich council also have no assets, liabilities, real property, or corporate assets. Yet, they manage a $360 million consolidated budget in 2021 and employ about 1,100.

 

When it comes to being financially savvy, learning on the job isn’t pretty.

 

https://www.timescol...gets-1.24303542

[Victoria Watcher]

The financial disclosures reveal that four of the nine-member Victoria council have no assets, liabilities, real property, or corporate assets, according to their 2021 filings. Two of the councillors have only liabilities.