2560 replies to this topic

[Rob Randall]

I have kids, and to say it "could happen to anybody" is a far overreaching statement to make.

It might happen to parents with a pre-existing mental health condition, or drug problems, or a parent who was the victim of a stroke ... but for any parent I've ever met, forgetfully leaving their child in a car for 8 hours would be fundamentally impossible.

 

When my daughter was a child, I was aware of her location and well being 24/7/365 for years and years on end. The same is true for every single parent I've ever met.

 

As far as telling fellow posters in an internet forum to "STFU" if they didn't meet certain conditions you've put upon them ... good luck with that!

 

Attitudes like yours are frightening and dangerous. The bold claim that "this could not possibly happen to me" cloaks a person in a false sense of security. 

 

Accidentally leaving a child in a car happens to good parents. It has nothing to do with parenting skills at all. 

[sdwright.vic]

The stylus of my Samsung Note 9 is linked, if I set it down and walk more than 5ft away an alarms goes off.

Possible solution?

[Rob Randall]

^Yes, there is technology that helps. Some of it is being built into new cars. 

 

When my daughter was a child, I was aware of her location and well being 24/7/365 for years and years on end. The same is true for every single parent I've ever met.

 

The Swiss cheese model. The holes never lined up for you. Pure luck. If you had scrambled eggs instead of cereal one morning your child could have died in a hot car. That's how scarily random it is.

Edited by Rob Randall, 13 May 2019 - 10:36 AM.

[lanforod]

Yep. I I call BS of the 24/7/365 claim. I'm at work right now. In general terms, I know that one child is at school, and two are with mom. I have no idea on exactly what their location or well being are at this time.

I also know mom and I are both tired from getting no more than 5 hours or so of regularly interrupted sleep for several months. Compound that with a number of other plausible factors and I can totally see your brain not functioning nearly as well as it can...  

Kids fall asleep in cars all the time. If you think a parent is deliberately leaving kids in a car for hours, think again. It's a terrible mistake to make, but in most cases, its a mistake. Most cases of this likely do not even go reported, because thankfully, there was no physical harm done (eg. not a hot day).

[Mike K.]

I can appreciate all of that.

But let’s work towards being a little more accommodating of people’s opinions. A healthy debate is great.

[DustMagnet]

Forgetting about your kid for 8 hours?!

 

Right, it's pretty rare to accidentally forget your child.  Compare the number of children to the number left in cars (subtract the ones purposely left in cars) and it doesn't statistically seem like it "could happen to anyone".

[jasmineshinga]

Did Cassidy lo-jack their kid? Otherwise, yeah, you never can be certain where the little buggers have wandered off to. Worse still if you have a quiet kid. My little sister was incredibly quiet, parents accidentally left her a gas stations, roadside diners, rest stops, etc. on long family holidays. Sure, we generally noticed a few miles up the road and went back for her, but if you were going straight from one mentally-intense task (getting kids ready and off to daycare for the morning) to another (work, because goodness know no one can afford kids with a single income nowadays) I can see the kid slipping your mind for a few hours.

 

Nevertheless, perhaps instead of loudly proclaiming how only inept / abusive / drug-addled parents could leave their kid in a car, you could brainstorm some practical methods to keep track of children so it doesn't happen as often. The idea of a parental setting on your vehicle's OS that would prompt you with verbal reminders when you open the driver's side door?

[Rob Randall]

Right, it's pretty rare to accidentally forget your child.  Compare the number of children to the number left in cars (subtract the ones purposely left in cars) and it doesn't statistically seem like it "could happen to anyone".

 

I'm not following what you're trying to say.

[DustMagnet]

I'm not following what you're trying to say.

 

I'm saying that I disagree with the assertion that "it could happen to anyone".  It implies an inevitability that discounts effort. 

[Midnightly]

statistics say there is no one single type of parent that this happens to.. i read somewhere that last year 53 kids died for being left in the car in 2018 in the states...

 

i do think it is a horrible accident, until something else comes out to state otherwise i'll continue to believe it is a horrible accident... to be honest i can understand how it can happen.. it kind of takes a perfect storm of a situation... when you have a wildly overtired/stressed/overwhelmed parent (say kid isn't sleeping at night or multiple nights they are up with a cold or teething, brain is on other things), a parent that might not be the one who usually drop the child off at care, kid falls asleep in the back seat, parent kinda switches into auto-pilot with their routine, drives to work forgets they were meant to drop the kid off.. it does happen.. there are things you can do to help prevent it, they suggest putting an infants toy on your passenger seat, put your bag/purse/cellphone in the back seat next to the child's car seat...

 

this is one of those situations where people are soo quick to bring out the pitch forks and attack the parents without hearing the whole story... the parents are most likely grieving terribly already they don't need society to add insult to injury

[RFS]

It’s called negligence and it should be criminally prosecuted. There is no excuse for it. Being a parent comes with responsibilities one of which is don’t forget you have a child in a hot car

[Victoria Watcher]

I have kids, and to say it "could happen to anybody" is a far overreaching statement to make.
It might happen to parents with a pre-existing mental health condition, or drug problems, or a parent who was the victim of a stroke ... but for any parent I've ever met, forgetfully leaving their child in a car for 8 hours would be fundamentally impossible.

When my daughter was a child, I was aware of her location and well being 24/7/365 for years and years on end. The same is true for every single parent I've ever met.

As far as telling fellow posters in an internet forum to "STFU" if they didn't meet certain conditions you've put upon them ... good luck with that!

except if you take the time to read than actual cases. there is nearly always multiple factors leading to it. Swiss cheese theory.

[Rob Randall]

I'm saying that I disagree with the assertion that "it could happen to anyone".  It implies an inevitability that discounts effort. 

 

It could happen to anyone means just that. It has nothing to do with inevitability. I could win the lottery or get struck by lightning but that doesn't mean it has to happen or will happen. Follow?

 

Again, it has nothing to do with the quality of parenting. In fact, you could make the argument that hyper-vigilant parents are at more risk because if those Swiss cheese holes line up their subconscious brain isn't prepared to entertain the possibility they're about to royally screw up. Their brain says, "my kid must be at daycare because I'm at the mall and mall is after daycare dropoff". 

Edited by Rob Randall, 13 May 2019 - 02:00 PM.

[RFS]

*kid looking down from heaven* "its okay mommy and daddy, I know you are really stressed out and have a lot going on, I understand, it could have happened to anyone!"

[Rob Randall]

^That's the thing. It can happen to anyone. It's happened to lawyers, cops, doctors, even an actual rocket scientist. The type of parent that spends hours researching the safest car seat and freaks out because their kid walked into a room without safety covers on the electrical outlets.

 

You will note that I am excluding from this discussion cases where the parents were actually negligent, drunkenness etc. They should be locked up.

 

It’s called negligence and it should be criminally prosecuted. There is no excuse for it. Being a parent comes with responsibilities one of which is don’t forget you have a child in a hot car

 

What you find if you read up on it is that you get into your car with the kid top of mind. 

 

But it's true that in very rare circumstances, a series of unusual and stressful events can fool even the most organized brain.

[Benezet]

Remember when forgetting a kid was the basis of a wildly successfully comedy movie? How we laughed back then....

https://en.m.wikiped...wiki/Home_Alone

[todd]

Don’t worry fictional in real life he was safely with michael jackson.

[Cassidy]

Accidentally leaving a child in a car happens to good parents. It has nothing to do with parenting skills at all. 

Stupidest thing I've ever read.

[Cassidy]

The Swiss cheese model. The holes never lined up for you. Pure luck. If you had scrambled eggs instead of cereal one morning your child could have died in a hot car. That's how scarily random it is.

Honestly, you have no idea what you're even talking about.

[Cassidy]

This is the weirdest thread I've ever read, or participated in.

 

You people who believe that "anybody" can leave a kid to die in a hot car need to go get your fuc_ing heads checked out.

 

Normal people don't leave their kids in a hot car.

 

Idiots.

Edited by Cassidy, 13 May 2019 - 06:33 PM.